#219 What You Don't Know

I am sure you are familiar with the phrase, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” Many of us accept this as common knowledge, but do we really understand what that means? How do we learn what we don’t know? Especially in regard to some of the topics that have been in the headlines as of late. In this episode, Leslie and Leslyn tackle some of the sensitive issues surrounding our society. Leslie and Leslyn dive into the idea of perception and privilege as well as a discussion on how you can start learning what you don’t know!

In this episode, we discuss…

Show Intro [0:01]

Introductions—How to Learn What We Don’t Know [0:13]

Start of the Podcast [0:56]

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know [2:22]

Sometimes There Cannot Be an Expectation to Ever Know [4:12]

Leslie’s Experience with Being Honest [6:18]

How Do You Discover If You Don’t Ask? [10:18]

The Pain Behind It All [12:55]

Fear and Use of Power Example [16:01]

Leslyn’s Fear Example [20:18]

The Importance of Being Self Aware [22:55]

Leslie’s Company Experience [23:23]

Overcoming the Biggest Obstacle [28:08]

How Different Groups Are Treated [30:16]

Only Hurt People Hurt People [32:13]

Book Recommendations and Giveaway! [35:26]

Essence of the Podcast [36:47]

Try This at Home! [37:53]

Next Week’s Topic [38:31]

Outro [38:45]

Episode Notes:

Leslie and Leslyn begin this episode of Try This at Home with heavy hearts. At the time of recording, there has been over 9 days of significant heartbreak in our country. With that, Leslie and Leslyn wish to discuss how you can start to learn what you do not know. This phrase, “You don’t know what you don’t know” was used in a 2002 speech by Donald Rumsfield.

Leslyn shares that when you finally understand the pieces and you realize the range of this issue; you realize that we don’t know what we don’t know. Which means, that we are looking and living blind to other issues that we do not have an experiential base on. Leslyn compares the idea to a woman being curious on what it would be like to be a man. It’s something that you can try to imagine but you cannot truly know what it would be like. Leslyn shares another example of trying to explain the color blue to someone who is blind. They will have a perception of the color blue, but they will not have the ability to actually know what blue is. At least not in the way that you can know what blue is.

This is true for anything that you do not have an experiential basis for. This is a super important and relevant idea for what is happening right now in our culture. Specifically, in regard to the lives of people of color. What is it like to be a person of color in our society? What is white privilege?

The goal is to continue to learn and understand. Leslyn compares it to two people who have grown up with two totally different ideas about parenting. The only way you can come to a consensus about how you are going to parent your kids is to listen to one another. Understand the pain that you are experiencing as well as the pain of people around you.

Leslie and Leslyn discuss some of the reasons people may be experiencing pain around this topic. Especially when accepting aspects of racism that play in everyday life. There is a fear of what you do not know and there is a fear of having to admit that you do not know.

Leslyn shares how you can start overcoming these fears. First, you must become aware of what is happening. Take the time to learn about why you feel the way you feel. Second, you must learn that this was your thinking before and now you can feel differently. You do not have to keep the same mindset. You are allowed to learn, grow, and reevaluate your thinking.

This starts with self-awareness. You must learn what you do not know and use your body to discover the underlying fears that motivate your behavior. Leslyn encourages you to do this as it will help you discover what fears you hold often times unknowingly. Leslyn shares that racism may exist on a spectrum for some people. The reason that we continuously have an issue with this is because we have not nailed down the first and biggest obstacle. This is that all lives matter ONLY if black lives also matter.

We all know of course that all lives matter. But you cannot say that all lives matter when we are not treating everyone equally. You cannot feed everyone at the table and then say you are feeding everyone. This happens not only with race but in other aspects as well. All lives will matter when it is equal across every gender, sexuality, race, and religion.

Leslie and Leslyn share three book recommendations for you, the listener. One of the books recommended titled Picking Cotton you have the chance to win! The first person to reach out to Leslyn on social media will receive the book! Leslie and Leslyn wish to have a book review after reading these titles sometime next month. Leslyn shares that the essence of this podcast is to try what we talk about at home. To grow your life and become your best self. Leslyn urges you to continue the conversation so that awareness can be raised on what we do not know in as many ways as we can. This week’s Try This at Home is to become your best self. To do that you have to become aware and it is recommended that you extend kindness to the world and to all people.

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Next Week’s Episode: Negativity

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Links to Look At:

Book Recommendations:

Rebecca Skloot | The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

[https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6493208-the-immortal-life-of-henrietta-lacks]

Erin Torneo, Jennifer Thompson-Cannino, and Ronald Cotton | Picking Cotton: Out Memoir of Injustice and Redemption

[https://www.pickingcottonbook.com/]

Robin DiAngelo | White Fragility