Building Boundaries

Are you a people pleaser? Do you lose yourself in the process of helping people? Do they take advantage of you? Setting boundaries is an important method of self-care. Leslyn and Leslie explain what a boundary is, describe how to build them, and what to do when they get crossed.

EPISODE NOTE:

Boundaries are important for emotional health. This conversation focuses on what a boundary is, how to set them, and what to do when they get crossed.

Leslyn and Leslie offer examples and suggestions for those times when people pleasing becomes unhealthy. When we sacrifice our wellness for the sake of another’s happiness, we’ve more than likely breached our own boundary.

They share how ‘givers’ allow themselves to be taken advantaged of and talk about how to set boundaries as a method of self care and emotional survival. Learning how to say “no” can be challenging if there is a long history of “yes” and they offer suggestions on how to recognize when “no” becomes important.

Boundaries can be too rigid or not firm enough and they discuss how to move them when necessary; ultimately experimenting until there is a sense of comfort. Indeed, boundaries change as circumstances change. This requires good communication and self-awareness.

Boundaries by Henry Cloud is perhaps the best book we’ve read on the topic. It is heavily based in Christian doctrine but is profound none-the-less. If religion isn’t your ‘thing’ - skip through the religious ideology and take the basic premise to heart.