#208 Social Media - Changing Humanity?

is social media a means of connecting us, or is it really doing the exact opposite? This episode centers around a topic that Leslie and Leslyn have been itching to cover since their discussion on friendship, two episodes earlier. The topic of social media brings up the interesting examination of how we think of our friendships. Social Media can cause varying love/hate relationships among users. On one hand, it may be frustrating as a business owner to keep their posts in line with the platform’s algorithm or it could possibly be a great contribution to keeping in touch with your friends and family that may live across the country! Leslie and Leslyn speak on social media’s ability to drive connection, presenting your most authentic self, and the benefits of a no phone zone!

In this episode, we discuss…

Show Intro [0:01]

Introductions—Social Media [0:13]

Start of the Podcast [0:33]

Love/Hate Relationship with Social Media [1:01]

Generational Choices in Social Media Platforms [3:04]

Social Media and Its Ability to Connect [8:25]

Weighing the Positives and the Negatives [10:46]

Share and Touch Base with Us! [15:21]

Exposing Elements of Your Life [15:46]

Presenting Your Most Authentic Self [18:41]

The Disconnect [19:37]

No Phone Zone [20:34]

Multitasking on a Whole New Level [26:36]

Closing Points [30:22]

Try This at Home! [31:46]

Episode Notes:

The episode begins with Leslie sharing her own love/hate relationship with social media, especially when it comes to her businesses. Managing a business social media can be frustrating specifically with the constant struggle of trying to stay in the confines of the platform’s algorithm. Leslie shares how her planner business has nineteen thousand followers, but her posts are only being shown to about a thousand of them! The day-to-day social media use can also bring conflicting emotions, Leslie shares that the average digital consumer spends about two and a half hours per day on social media!

Leslie shares some of her experiences with the various social media platforms that are sparking her children’s interest and also her oldest child’s desire for his own cell phone. Leslyn points out that there is always something that is going to be distracting to children and today’s is the vast options that the Internet provides. This does not undermine the fact that there seems to be strong correlations to social media and electronic addictions, which Leslie and Leslyn plan to discuss in more detail in a future episode.

Most people who think of the Internet’s impact would say that they think it is more of a positive because of its ability to connect people. Leslyn gives the example of being able to connect with cousins that she would know nothing about otherwise, as they live on the opposite side of the country. Leslie on the flip side states that the more she thinks critically about these social media connections, the more she wonders. She wonders why she feels the need to be connected to people she has not seen or spoke to since high school. Leslyn believes this could be up to voyeurism and compares Leslie’s example to feeling the same way about the people who sit and watch to see what their neighbors are up to. The reason that you want to be friends with a person on social media is because people love to watch people, and the curiosity of knowing about a vague connection in your life is what social media counts on! Leslyn continues this by comparing it to going to a class reunion. People often go to class reunions not only to catch up but to compare and observe others we are vaguely connected to.

We do this because as humans, we have a fundamental instinct to be curious. Leslie shares that the major reason she hired someone to manage her businesses’ social medias was because of social medias drive to comparisons, she feels, personally, that this is one of the single biggest drawbacks. Leslie found herself comparing her work to others in both good and bad ways. This was an attitude that she did not want to have as it either made her feel horrible or gave her this sense of superiority that she did not appreciate or want in herself.

Leslyn on the other hand, does not share those similar feelings. Leslyn shares that she has a personal Facebook page that she does not connect with clients on, which is part of creating good psychological boundaries. Leslyn also has two public pages one for her counseling practice and the other as she’s an author. She is incredibly particular about what she allows others to see of her in a public setting as this is vastly different from what her friends see. Leslie also shares some of these techniques, as she has a personal social media page and her businesses’ pages. For Leslie, she feels that the multiple different roles she plays in life complicate and make it tricky to run individual social media pages.

With the use of social media, there is something to be said about posting in a way that reflects your most authentic self, whatever that may be, and giving people the ability to interact with little to no pretense. Leslyn shares this is crucial in her work as she wants her future clients to have a perception of her as a blank slate which helps in a psychotherapy setting. Leslie asks what Leslyn sees most in her practice related to social media. Leslyn answers that she sees issues with connectivity the most in her practice. Connecting to the people outside of your everyday life, can cause a significant disconnect between you and those closest to you. Leslyn hears so often with couples that one or even both members of the relationship wish that their partner would talk to them the same amount as they spend texting or talking on social media. The solution Leslyn often gives is to create a no phone zone.

A no phone zone is vital in a world where we walk around with handheld computers as a part of our everyday life. By spending too much time on electronics you can risk disconnecting from those important people in your life. Leslie mentions her example from earlier of being friends on social media with someone that she has not talked to in almost twenty years. Leslie continues by saying she could be using the time she sits and catches up on someone else’s life to be strengthening connections with her husband by communicating or even taking her children to do something fun.

Leslyn conveys the following, when we are more concerned about what transpired in the day of a social media friend than we are with what transpired in the day of one of our family members, then we are moving in the wrong direction. It’s a mindless habit that can be incredibly hard to break but slow transitions such as no phones at the dinner table could help! Confiding in your loved ones instead of your phone can positively impact the connection you have with someone you love. Leslyn shares that some ways to connect with those loved ones could be not having a television in the bedroom or making the living room a no phone zone. Even investing in a Google Home, or similar product, that can allow you to still reach out to the Internet while staying connected to those around you can support this bond.

Leslyn believes that it is important to understand, from a healthy, emotional perspective, the importance of using social media to connect with the outside world and when is the right time to set it aside to connect with your inside world. Social media should have the second-place spot in your life. Leslie and Leslyn both hope that you, the listener, observe your connections and examine where setting limits may be beneficial. Today’s Try This at Home is to try any of these ideas to boost connectivity in your life. You could do this by creating your own no phone zone, taking the television out of your bedroom (or at least your phones) and to pay attention to how you are connecting inside your homes. Give social media it’s place for the outside world and see how you can make differences to better strengthen the connection with those you hold dear.

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Next Week’s Episode: Human Connection

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Links to Look At:

Get Coached by Leslyn!! http://growwithleslyn.com

Episode #206 on The Making of Friendship

https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/3/9/206-the-making-of-friendship

Leslie’s Limelife Planners

https://www.limelifeplanners.com/

Leslyn’s practice Harmony Counseling