Magic Marriages
In last week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn covered some of the challenges couples face in their relationships. Over half of Leslyn’s practice is focused on couple’s therapy. While some of the couples find themselves deep in trouble by the time they get to her office, the diligent ones are coming in much sooner for their relationship tune-up. This tune-up is one of the keys to creating and maintaining a magic marriage. In today’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn share ten of the ways that you can maintain a healthy marriage and they encourage you to complete a reflection on the areas that may need some maintenance in your life.
In this episode, we discuss…
Show Intro [0:01]
Introductions—Maintaining a Healthy Relationship [0:12]
Start of the Podcast [4:22]
Leslie’s Marriage Tip [4:35]
Learn How to Communicate Effectively [10:41]
Daily Appreciation Leads to a Magic Marriage [17:13]
Have Something to Look Forward To [22:00]
Checking in on a Regular Basis [24:16]
Be Invested in Sharing at least One Interest [27:17]
Make Sure to Cuddle Often [29:05]
Schedule Relationship Maintenance Time [32:21]
Maintaining Loyalty [37:31]
Forgive Often [38:23]
Let It Go [38:57]
Closing Thoughts [40:00]
Outro [42:30]
Episode Notes:
On last week’s episode, Leslie and Leslyn shared some of the major problems that married couples can face and decided to continue this topic to focus on some of the healthy relationship aspects that help maintain a happy marriage. Leslie starts off the episode by sharing some advice that has saved her relationship a few times. When Leslie and her husband disagree on something, whoever feels the strongest on the situation will be what they decide on. This requires maturity and a real commitment to being honest about who truly cares more about the situation. Leslyn adds she often advises couples to rank how they feel on a scale of one to ten and the person who ranks high should be the one making the decision. If both parties have strong opinions on the situation a compromise must be created.
To have a magic marriage, one must make it their job to learn how to communicate effectively. Leslie and Leslyn explain this point by discussing communication when it comes to wants and needs in the relationship. Following effective communication, magic marriage couples also show daily appreciation. Many couples that Leslyn has in her office often say they do not feel appreciated. Not feeling appreciated, outside of infidelity, is the single biggest complaints seen in unhealthy marriages. People who feel appreciated do not have broken marriages and it is critical to practice daily appreciation with your partner to maintain a healthy relationship.
The number one recommendation that Leslyn offers to her couples is that they must have something as a couple to look forward to. This can be a vacation, a project around the house, a weekend away, or even a dinner date night. Couples should find something that they are jointly looking forward to, this can unite the couple to a similar vision of the future. Checking in and making sure you are on the same page with regularity also relates to the last point as being united to a future goal is important. It’s important to connect and check in to make sure that you are on the same page on a regular basis to maintain a healthy, happy relationship.
The next way that helps maintain a healthy relationship is to always be invested in sharing at least one interest. As life goes on, it may not even seem obvious when an interest is no longer shared. When this happens, it is important to recognize when an interest has completely diverged, and course correct by reconnecting with another shared interest. Checking in with each other also shows up physically, where Leslyn believes things such as cuddling or checking in, in a similar manner is important to maintaining a happy marriage.
Scheduling relationship maintenance time is also crucial to a healthy relationship. This can be in the form of date nights, a weekend away, or checking in with a marriage counselor or coach. Leslyn suggests that this must be on your calendar with a plan in place, a budget to follow, and completion of the time together. Having your partners back and showing loyalty benefit the couple immensely as well as forgiving often when it comes to mistakes. It’s important to remember that accidents and mistakes happen once, but when it repeats that action becomes a choice and now is a problem in the relationship. The last point to maintaining a healthy relationship is to let things go. Bringing up old stuff in the relationship will never amount to moving forward in the relationship.
This week’s try this at home is to check in with your relationship to take part in a relationship tune-up. To have a healthy relationship, you communicate well, appreciate each other, have something to look forward to, regularly check in, share interests, cuddle often, have date nights, stay loyal, forgive, and let things go. When you are able to accomplish these things in your relationship, that is when it becomes a magic marriage.
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Next Week’s Episode: Year End Review
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Links to Look At:
Last Week’s Try This at Home Episode: The Death of a Relationship
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2020/10/13/the-death-of-a-relationship]
Try This at Home’s Episode 12: Communication Styles
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/16/communication-styles]
Try This at Home’s Episode 13: 8 Rules for Better Communication
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/21/8-rules-for-better-communication]
Try This at Home’s Episode 14: Getting Defensive – Part 1
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-1]
Try This at Home’s Episode 15: Getting Defensive – Part 2
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/4/25/getting-defensive-part-2]
Try This at Home’s Episode 16: How to Win Fights
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/how-to-win-fights]
Try This at Home’s Episode 17: Communication Pitfalls
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/5/8/communication-pitfalls]
Try This at Home’s Episode 19: Listening Like a Champ
[https://www.trythisathomepodcast.com/podcasts-1/2019/6/3/19-listening-like-a-champ]
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